I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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