Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
