Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
