just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize