You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize