Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
