In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
