Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
