Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I sprained my soul last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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