It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
