I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
this hospital has no fireball
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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