sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
