This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
