Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, beer. Big fan.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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