just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
