bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
