i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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