I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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