Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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