so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
