honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
