I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
