She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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