i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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