i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
