I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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