Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
