wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
