All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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