what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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