he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
