I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
