i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
