dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
