how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
