Say something about gay babies.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
