Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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