why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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