now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize