why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
