Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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