Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
