is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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