I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
