If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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