i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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