i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
