i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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