Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
