It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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