I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
