I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
