that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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