Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
