after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
