insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize