there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
