My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
