He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
